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Shankapotomus

Marcus Fenix is pissed! First the community showed their support for the survival of Carmine, the weak link in his squad of Locust terminators. Now he has been stripped of his C.O.G. armor, forced to wear a Rambdana, and delivered a one-way ticket south of the border to seek revenge on Bucho. Oh, and he has changed his code name to Carlos Spicy Weiner…I mean, Shank.

Shank (by developer Klei Entertainment) is out for the Xbox 360 (via XBLA) and the PS3 (via PSN). If you love pulp action and over the top combat then this puppy is right up your alley. It is a 2D side scroller splattered with a unique art style (Samurai Jack meets graphic novel) and a satisfying combo building system. The action is fast and gory. You are Shank, a one man army of death and destruction who is out for revenge, armed with a blade, a chainsaw, and dual pistols. Each weapon represents a type of attack: the blade is your melee, the chainsaw is your power attack, and the pistols are your ranged. As you progress you unlock additional weapons for each “slot” and can toggle between them during game play. Continuous hits builds up chains and different button combos result in a ton of stylish attacks. The game even features 11 costumes that can be unlocked for your character.

If you are rockin’ any mini-me’s then expect to be firing this game up late at night (when they are asleep) or while your significant other has them out at dance practice for the afternoon. Gore, profanity, and juicy audio will pump out of your TV and speakers throughout the duration of your campaign of vengeance.

One thing to be aware of: there is an issue that the team at Kei is working on fixing that is resulting in choppy playback of the opening cinematic and long load times between levels on the Xbox 360. Sounds like they will have this fixed soon so don’t hate. Besides, they kick ass. Need proof? Their game rocks and they released the soundtrack for free! Get it here.

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By Justin – August 27, 2010

Scott Pilgrim Visits River City

If you <3 River City Ransom (RCR) and you don’t already own Scott Pilgrim vs. the World on the PS3 then stop reading this and go download it right now. No, wait, scratch that. Go queue up the download then come right back (or take me with you on your iPad). Of course, if you own a Wii you could download the actual River City Ransom, but then you would miss out on the epicness that is the plight of the Pilgrim.

This game is retro-laced, 4 player co-op goodness to the core. It is a RCR clone with references abound to classic 8 bit titles. You can play as one of four characters with the ability to level up stats and moves on each one. The couch co-op (no online play via the Playstation Network) is pure bliss. The essence of teamwork is defined by the ability to pick up your partner while they are laid out and proceed to hammer on enemies with their face running point. I’d recommend turning off friendly fire in the options though as things get hectic on the screen when your squad gets rushed by a ton of goons. Don’t fret though, turning off team damage only disables the damage done by your base melee attacks. You can still pick up a bat (or any other Object of Mass Destruction) and tee off on your pal(s) with it. Oh, btw, the game has bats and balls. So you can play some stick ball in between fights (or drill the batter with a 4 seamer from point blank). For those of you who are new to the RCR type game play, each level is littered with objects like bats, brooms, buckets, trash cans, tires, and more that can be picked up, used as weapons, used as a lightsaber (you can block incoming objects, no matter the size, if you are holding an object and swing at the incoming object…it’s very technical) stood on to gain the high ground, or even as transportation (have a buddy chuck a tire and try and hop on top of it).

Just like River City Ransom, there are levels with shops that one can purchase anything from a cd of your nemesis band The Clash at Demonhead (the song Black Sheep by Metric in the movie kicks ass) to some nachos and even sushi! These can be used to refill health or permanently boost stats. One can earn money for purchases by collecting coins that baddies drop when you mop the streets of Ontario with them. So make sure you get your loot on early and often if you are playing with other humans (there is no communal coin purse, however you can lend cashola if you feel so inclined).

If you are longing for a 2D game with that retro 8 bit feel (and sound) to play with some friends then this game is a shoe in. If you never experienced River City Ransom with a friend then you should get on Scott Pilgrim and cut your teeth, then go out and get River City Ransom to learn the history.

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By Justin – August 17, 2010

Starcraft 2 in the pipe 5 by 5

First off, let me say “my bad” for the large textual break. I had a lapse of judgment and thought my life required some mundane practicality focus. Practicality can eat a deuce. I’m back bitches! Lets heat this reactor up again.

I hate RTS’s. That’s a fact. Rapid mouse twitching and clicking should be reserved for hacking and slashing the demon-spawn of hell and being a Johnny-on-the-spot lewt hog. Keyboard mastery is a worthy skill set for typing up these posts or cracking under pressure (NSFW…as if anyone actually reads this at work). Macro-managing an economically-driven war machine is more like a job than a game.

So, I totally geeked all over my desk when StarCraft II released. How did this happen? For starters, the single player campaign mode is a great way to ease into the complexity of an RTS. Isolated missions with short-term objectives that are laced with replayability incentives in the form of achievements serve to draw you in. A challenge mode that illustrates how to counter units is a non-intimidating method of teaching the laymen RTS rat the intricacies of the art of war. However, as every StarCraft whore knows, multiplayer is where it’s at.

I hate 1v1. My personality is definitely more Magic than Jordan. I would rather elevate my brochachos than exterminate (or more specifically, get my ass candy painted by) some Void Ray rock star. Fortunately I have a set of “Real IDs” that cut their chops on the first StarCraft, and StarCraft II lets me recruit up to 3 of them to take on either the computer A.I. or venture into the Ladder system and actually play other humans. Now this, I find enjoyable. I like being able to focus on a tech or two and just build while relying on my teammates to handle all the other crap. And when the game reaches the 30 minute mark and I have officially lost the will to macro-manage I can always just build some silos and cold war some bugs…or my allies (evil grin). Nuclear launch detected!

btw – I am Zerg rushing Twitter with updates on game releases and news as I come across them while I am working…um, researching. Follow it: liquidsneezes

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By Justin – August 10, 2010

Massively Effective This Time Around

MEDialog

I have been catching up on the Clone Wars via DVR as of late. Season two is darker and littered with lightsaber action, I love it. Last month I posted about Assassin’s Creed 2, another round two. This past Tuesday I powered through the last bits of Mass Effect 1, getting my mack on to try and score some blue alien tail and to finish off the story before I picked up my copy of Mass Effect 2 at midnight at our local GameStop. If you have never done a midnight release, and you consider yourself a hardcore gamer or even a gaming addict then you owe it to yourself to at least experience it once. These events are not long and it is certainly not like camping out for Jedi, but it is pretty slick when you find out that 2 million units of the game are moved in the first four days and you can say that you were one of the first of those. Oh yeah, then there are the social network achievements too:

ME2Tweet

I know the year is young, but I think it is deserving of the moniker “Year of the Sequel”, or maybe even “Year of the Empire Strikes Back Quality Sequel” (wow, Star Wars nerd alert, 4th reference in just one and a half paragraphs). Mass Effect 2 is flat out bad ass. Time Magazine has the best “one line review thingy that you see floating around aimlessly on those commercials that run a couple weeks after a movie has been released in theatres”:

…it’s the Avatar of video games – except it’s better written.

Allow me to iterate over that statement and break it down. Avatar was a tremendous visual experience. It flexed CGI’s muscles and showed the world what really can be achieved via digital effects. It also made the new 3D experience feel, well, comfortable and fitting. Everything just worked great visually and you weren’t left to ponder details such as character run animations or illogical data screens. ME2 has the same…effect. This game is polished like your grandpa’s bowling ball and as fine tuned as your father-in-law’s restored Chevy. The graphics, the tech, the game play, they all just exist and absorb you into the fictional world.

Avatar’s story…you know that part in Big Trouble in Little China where that thug gets all “5 year old pissyfit” upon seeing his boss lying dead and holds his breathe until he explodes and the contents of a bag of garbage from your kitchen comes flying out of him? Fill that garbage bag up with the stories of Dances With Wolves and The Matrix, the concept art from World Of Warcraft: The Burning Crusade, and a Mad Libs book for coming up with people/place/thing names like “Pandora” and “Unobtainium”, then stuff it in an inflatable human mannequin and blow it up in 3D across the world and self-proclaim it epic and you’ve got Avatar.

Mass Effect 2’s story…print it out and make sweet whoopie to it. It’s that damn good! BioWare has crafted a darker story line that starts off infectiously and festers in your mind until you find yourself making excuses to stop work early or put the kid to bed at 4:30. Continuing on the legacy of your version of Shepard is extremely satisfying. My Shepard was a fairly nice guy in the first game, however going through hell to save the human race only to be rewarded by getting killed and reborn tends to change one’s outlook on the galaxy. Fortunately the story this time around allows me to handle my business like a true forgotten hero should.

ME2 is everything that I expected ME1 to be. When ME1 came out there were all these killer concepts like traversing the galaxy to visit remote planets, hacking systems and accounts, and being heroic or maniacal. It failed to live up to those on an immersive level. ME2 has resolved all of those issues. Gone is the pain of driving the stupid Mako and those trips to other systems that result in 3 orbiting planets that only exist to fill your codex with words that belong in a book. Each non-accessible planet can now be mined for resources that can be used to upgrade weapons, armor and other tech. Hacking actually feels like you are getting your hack on. No more flashing controller button patterns to mimic. The new hack system has you picking out matching blocks of scrolling source code or pairing up icons on a circuit board (which I think would make an awesome iPhone game…so if anyone at BioWare is reading this, please contract me to be the lead Game Designer on that one…). Finally, we are able to walk the true path of either a Paragon or a Renegade with ME2. Just like Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (another BioWare epic), our actions towards light or dark not only change our appearance but also progress the story and our NPC interaction down different avenues.

All of this reeks of the smell of replayability, and the way they nailed the Sci-Fi experience has my anticipation for BioWare’s next project, Star Wars: The Old Republic, reaching critical mass.

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By Justin – January 30, 2010

Assassin on a Hot Tile Roof

Remember when you were but a child? You yearned to climb like a monkey, soar like an eagle, blend in like a chameleon, and shank like a prison inmate? No on the last one? Ok, then remember when you were a pre-teen and and you would run through the halls of your house, hiding behind corners, sneaking up on unsuspecting guards and kicking them down the stairs? Oh come on! Seriously? Don’t tell me your idea of adventure involved punching holes in black construction paper with Christmas light nipples in the pattern of “Hugs a Lot” Care Bear on your Light Bright. Ha, see, you almost had me there. Stupid Light Brights.

The Assassin’s Creed series is back with its second installment. The game play in the first one was extremely addictive and part two follows the same creed.  But it doesn’t stop there. Unlike most “cash in” sequels out there in gamesville, this episode looks to improve on the formula. We get to spend less time out of the Matrix and more in the virtual past, this time set in Italy. Our historical avatar is a ladies man with a burning desire for revenge which by my standards is a perfect characteristic package for a would be assassin (’cause we all know real life assassins aren’t psychologically fragile CIA dropouts).

We are treated to a plethora of new features in part deux. There are vendors in each city that sell weapons and armor upgrades. There are doctors that will give you a leech bath (to refill your health) and there are art vendors that sell historical paintings. Where do these paintings go? Do you store them up that GAP inspired male skirt? No sir, you adorn the walls of your estate with them. That’s right, this time around you’re big pimpin’. You get your own manor early on and you get a chance to stash all of your digital historic goodies there. All of the weapons and armor you purchase are stored in your casa and you can switch your load out with a quick visit home. Quick visit home? That’s right, there are quick travel vendors. Some dude with horses and a buggy is waiting around for your coins to take you to a loading screen between cities (note that this is faster than leaving the city walls and riding out to a loading screen in the mountains). And your home…it comes with a city! You can spend your Robin Hood duckets on city improvements and score discounts on your future purchases when you buy goods from vendors in your city.

Apparently Assassin’s Creed was the gateway drug and AC2 is the crack. Now I have an addiction to climbing up to rooftops and leaping around like a monkey in a rain forest as well as the desire to beautify my home and keep the people of my city prosperous. And I am even more addicted to the technique of assassination now, thanks to sweet new moves like the ability to stabby stab by launching off of a rooftop and down onto a target and the double stab (you can obtain an assassin’s blade for each hand and can take out 2 targets at the same time). Getting to your target is no longer limited to scaling buildings or hiding among crowds. There are NPC groups that are available for hire. Thugs can be hired to start a fight with a target or guards. And hookers, I mean, female escorts, are available to seduce your marks (and yes, they will whisper sweet nothings to you while you travel in a pack to your destination). You can hop on a banana boat and row your way through the canals. Or you can get your swim on. Hell, you can even climb up to the crow’s nest on ships and dive into the water!

Sure, there’s a great fictional story sprinkled with historical facts that you will play through. The characters are strong and the dialog is not too campy. But the real joy in this puppy is all the cool stuff that you get to do on your own. It’s like playing with GI Joe (not the 12 inch stuffed dolls that old people used to own) or Star Wars action figures all over again, which is a great feeling when you have a daughter and the only ass-kicking you can do during play time involves having the “daddy” doll tell “brother” and “sister’ that they have to set the table in the doll house.

One parting note, try out the “walk-by-pickpocketing”. If you ever had a hidden desire to goose Italian town folk this will satiate your needs. Although I recommend goosing the females over the males as to maintain your masculinity (but if you are a chick, don’t worry, I’m quite comfortable with you goosing other women).

That’s all, drive thru.

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By Justin – December 30, 2009